Lately, I have been very emotionally charged at work. Well, really, that’s a nice way of putting it that I have not seemed happy which has been noticed by many people. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and frustration is certainly one of those that I do not hide well. During a “venting” session at shift change a few weeks ago one of my colleagues said to me “maybe you need to reevaluate how you are sharing your message.” I appreciated those words, and really went beyond that. I decided to reevaluate my entire approach to how I do some things.
It should not be any surprise that I am a control freak, a Type A personality. That is something from my street paramedic career that I was not able to shake, and it rears its ugly head in my middle management style sometimes. I am always watching what goes on around me, and often have an opinion about what is taking place. I tent to express that opinion whether people want to hear it or not. The first internal struggle that I need to address is I need to come to terms with the fact that I cannot control everything. My focus needs to be narrowed and more concise during the course of my day. Putting my energy towards changes that can be made and be productive as a result will make a difference in how I spend my time, and the outcomes that I see from it.
I also need to come to terms with the fact that some things will never change, like some people’s beliefs. People are who they are and I need to integrate myself into the system instead of demanding that the system integrates itself to me. I need to trust that like me, other people are doing what they feel is in our best interest, and I need to move away from a “my way or the highway” attitude that I sometimes slip into.
Finally, I cannot hang my hat on an expectation of praise; you cannot expect that to come whenever YOU want it to. EMS is a thankless profession, and much like my own Type A tendencies, it can be engrained into someone who has been in the field for a while.
When I started this blog, one of the things that I wanted to do was try and educate folks with my experiences, and ultimately that is the focus and purpose of this post. I am only human, and while I feel that EMS is my calling, I am far from perfect. That is a difficult conclusion to come to about myself in a field where there is so much at stake, but it is true. I cannot be right all the time, I cannot get what I want all the time, and I cannot expect things to go my way every time.
Just remember: narrow your focus onto what is truly important, be ready to let go of what you have no control over and accept your own humanity. Doing these three things will leave you feeling a little more fulfilled at the end of the day.
nice post, Scott